Wednesday, August 06, 2008

what now?: you've got to put one foot in front of the other (another comment gone horribly, horribly awry)

nate! it's so damn good to see you! in honor, let's celebrate revenge of the nerds style. i've brought rumaki, cheesepuffs, wonderjoints, liquid heat, and of course, lots of beer. there's even whipped cream pies for dessert. "that's my pie..." enjoy!

i know god will show us, individually, what he has for each one of us. which is why i ask these questions. i'm wondering, truly, what kind of an impact this world here has on our "real" lives. speaking freely here, and thinking freely like this during the day, has changed the things that come out of my mouth. i find myself becoming more bold all the time. doesn't matter who i'm talking to. clerks, friends, family, coworkers... i find myself speaking forth my inner dialogue much more freely, and engaging in some great conversation that you would never expect.

like my existential rant i went on the other day, around the prep table, about money. i even tore some paper off the wall for effect. and we shared a moment of acknowledgement of similarities not commonly shared. it was a deepening moment, in my opinion, and i was glad we had it. things like this don't happen very often in the "real" world, but they happen more commonly the more i speak in "real" life in the same fashion i do here.

that's one effect.

it has been hard finding time to be online to fit my family's changing rhythms. (not that anyone else here has had that struggle.) but i think we've finally found an understanding that what i am a part of is signifigant enough for me to be allowed times set aside for it that work for the familial infra-structure. working out boundaries and being honest with one another helped us to grow in our conlifct resolution by leaps and bounds. i know it's made me a better dad and husband...

all because of what goes on here. i just take a step back sometimes and look at us and i am amazed. sometimes it's juts fun to marvel at how i have no idea where this is going to lead. truly, i do my best to be as passive towards the spirit as possible. when she wants to make use, i try to be available. so often times i truly AM an observer as i look at my mouth and go "did you just say that?"

(for some reason this scene is what came to mind and was the inspiration for what became this post. i think, as a metaphor, there is some wisdom in it for us. if we can hear it. if you don't, don't worry about it. it's not for you.)


Erin said...

'Scuse please, but why do they call you 'Booger'? (sorry, had to get that in there. my boys have seen the 'clean' version of this movie, and they repeat that line to each other constantly as a term of endearment.)

So I commented back to Nate on my blog that the knowing there are people who don't want to beat me over the head with religion, but instead find their theology in Revenge of the Nerds or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or where-the-hell-ever...that is incredibly freeing to me. Like you said, it's the people and conversations and affirmations we have in the virtual world that give each of us the audacity to let those conversations carry over into real life.

Anyhow, we're heretics, but we have each other.

Lewis: We have news for the beautiful people. There's a lot more of us then there are of any of you that have ever felt stepped on, left out, picked on, put down, whether you think you're a (heretic) or not, why don't you just come down here and join us?

Gibert: Just join us cos uh, no-one's gonna really be free until (heretic) persecution ends.

Nate said...

This is very much like our group. We are not the popular ones. Like nerds, we are cool in our eyes. This community helps me grow as well. Most of us have tended to see this as a temporary resting place. For me, this is it. God has placed me here to find those few that need encouragement to get through the tough times and come out the other side stronger. So ladies and gentlemen, this is my "what's next." If people feel the Holy Spirit urging you on to more. Then more is what you should have, or do. But for me, I am content here.

Erin said...

I guess no one else appreciates Nerds the way we do, LOL.

I caught myself saying a couple of months ago that I have no real ministry...then I thought about it and had to correct myself. What I do online is my "ministry" (though I hate that word)...just caring about people who are struggling with the ideas of Church (and all it's trimmings) they have always had. And other people do the same for me. And for now, that's where I belong.

jON said...

the clean version? does taht mean there is an unclean version floating around out there? was poindexter originally a leper? :-)

i love this movie. i have ever since i was a young kid, long before clean versions. it was great then, it's great now. except now, i can understand the themes a little greater. and yes, even see god in it.

but then, i see god in most everything.

nate, it is always good to see you. your presence if definitely missed. i think these guys are getting tired of having to deal with me on their own. i start talking about things like stryper when you're not around...

Susan said...

Hi, Jon
Your recent comment on John 16 arrived in my inbox but not on the site. Is this a problem with blogger? Or did you delete it? Or perhaps it is floating around in cyberspace somewhere?

Erin said...

Well, I think you're just messin' with me, but just in case: there's the R-rated version and then there's the TV version...for obvious reasons I haven't let my sons see the R-rated one yet. Call me a prude.

I just love the themes of the underdog triumphing, and when you think about it that's the entire theme of the bible...think of the sermon on the mount...

Valorosa said...

Never saw the movie but loved these clips.

Thanks ... made me laugh during a troubled time here.

The psycho psychiatrist has allowed my son to leave the hospital 'against medical advice'. This, she thinks, to cover her own rear end.
He has been better for a long time and was home except for 2 nights a week. She kept him formed anyway which means he could not walk away from her care without the police looking for him. With God's grace I have not buckled under her insanity as his substitute decision maker...

The coordinator of the community treatment team we are involved with, has taken up our cause and will have a new psychiatrist for us soon, I hope. Her own team is stepping in between us, finally hearing my heart.

If you would pray that the new one sees quality of life as more important than trying to force more psych meds down his throat. If any of the several he has been on were going to help him, they would have by now.

What a trial

The Mental Health Act was brought into existence to keep checks and balances in place for this very kind of psychiatrist.

I have cursed the Mental Health Act before as it has often worked against us with my son's unique illness, but, this time, it has worked for us.
I just shake my head at the thought that this particular body of physicians need this kind of Act to keep a check on them.

Thanks for your prayers. :-)

jON said...

and thank you for the update, wendy. we have certainly been wondering. and we will keep praying for you, because that's what we do here.

it's so hard for me to wrap my mind around your situation because it sounds like such a shitty place to be stuck. i don't have any magical words that can "fix it", and the male part of me is screaming at that. so i just have to go with my calmer feminine side and say "i too know what it is like to have to advocate for your son's welfare only to meet resistance and beaureaucratic bullshit. my heart goes out for you and your son." it's so frustrating to not be able to stand up, say "no!", take your son, and just go home and have it all be done.

speaking of sons, tessa got a great picture of zaavan on their walk today. that makes one of several new pictures we could share. if you'll join me, i think it's time to call for another zaavanco. and beepBo update!

erin, of course i'm giving you shit. confession time. one thing you should know about me is this: sometimes, when i have nothing better to say, i say really asinine shit just for fun. there, i've said it. it's out in the open. i am aware of my problem. you can ask nate what it was like to have me around growing up. i had nothing better to say, or do, ALOT.

i hear i was quite the charmer.

still am... :-)

i am EXTREMELY familiar with "clean" or "television" versions of favorite films. (pastor's kid over here{point to self})

i believe i had the TV versions of beverly hills cop, ferris bueller's day off, and the breakfast club that i watched quite regularly. the interesting thing about the breakfast club is that the clean version i owned was the only version i saw for YEARS because it was rated R and i was a teen living in my parents' house. i probably saw it that way 20 times before i saw the original. to this day, the dialgue that comes so freely is the edited stuff. my wife cringes every time. with every line...

"i don't know any lepers either. but i'm not going to run out and join one of their *stinking* clubs..."

"well brian here is claiming that in addition to the number of girls in the niagra falls area, that you and he are currently
*making it.*"

yeah. it's that good.

Erin said...

Did you have the TV version of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, too?

"You gave me a car that wasn't there."

"I'm sorry, sir."


Yes, we do need a new pictorial on your offspring.

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