Monday, November 03, 2008

who's with me?

it seems strange to revisit it now. to go back and look at the scant outline of thoughts brewing for over 3 years. moreso, being brought to the front burner for over 4 months now. i guess i'm not sure what to say, or that if i DO find out what to say, the implications and responsibilities frighten me. but after reading heather's posts on the subject recently, and knowing i am not alone in being tapped about this, i think now is the time to overlook fears and simply dive off the cliff once again, not knowing where we will land. i apologize for not speaking more forthrightly or openly about this until now. forgive me my silence.

for so long i have wanted a practical faith. a faith that was more than simply an amalgamation of words memorized and beliefs defined by another. not saying there is anything inherently wrong with being taught by another. at some point however, i just wanted something mroe than that. something i could call my own. more than just in the sense of intellectual beliefs held from systematizing scriptures into doctrinal structures that we believe "should work" when followed "in just this manner." the problem with that is more often than not these structures didn't work. but to acknowledge that was to simply ask for guilt and emotional pain in being told that the problem lie with me and not the structure built from "god's inerrant and authoritative word". but that's all water under the bridge now. that time in my life is past.

in the present, i find myself as a part of another group of people who love to talk. and that's wonderful. don't get me wrong, i love the transparency, vulnerability, openness, love, grace, and acceptance i find in this place, and that we share with one another as we hash out long held questions and crises of faith. in fact i believe it is good for us to talk about these things. but i don't want to be a part of another group that is all talk. the desire in my heart is to be part of a group whose faith continues to move outward into the world in practical ways.

i think it is extrememly signifigant that through whatever set of circumstances brought us here, we have now found each other. if it is just coincidence, it is one amazing set of coincidences that has brought us together. we live in an age where man can now talk openly all over the world and understand one another again. overriding the curse in genesis placed on humans at the tower of babel. according to the story, the curse was placed on humans because of what they were trying to accomplish. and when humans can completely communicate with each other, "nothing which they purpose to do will be impossible for them." (gen.11:6)

i think we can now take advantage of this. i think we can do something about the crisis of paradigm in the world in which we live. i believe we can work together to begin to reach out to our world in global ways unprecedented in all of human history up until now. i not only believe it is possible, i believe it is why i am here.

i honestly don't know where this ends but it feels right to me. as if this is what i was created for. it is strange and frightening not knowing where i am going. only seeing one step at a time. and some days/weeks/months/years just sitting at a red light, waiting for it to change to green. (thanks, happy.)

i know i'm not alone in this. i know i am not the only one the spirit is speaking these things to. and i think now, finally, it is time to begin speaking of such things and bringing our puzzle pieces we have been given together. our small loaves and fishes, if you will.

i have no idea where this is going to lead, because it is not me who's putting it together. if this doesn't resonate with you, or you haven't felt god's spirit moving these things in you, then this isn't for you. don't feel bad about it. but if you HAVE felt these stirrings in your spirit, sometimes for years, and are just now feeling them grow stronger, are still confused about it like me, but feel it has something to do with the people you've met online in the past few years, let's start the conversation. let's start trying to "put the pieces together" and find out where to go from here, together, with the spirit at the forefront.

i'm not exactly sure what has begun, but i'm committed to what's begun. as far as god wills it, and desires for me to be with you, you can count on me. i'm in it all the way.

who's with me?


wanting more said...

Forgive my slowness...:) I don't follow. I mean, I might, could you explain some more? I hope I'm not the only idiot!! Do you mean that you are wanting to openly share the things that God is actually speaking to you FOR others? Like specific words? Or are you talking about wanting MORE in terms of "greater things than these," ? Or am I still lost? Sorry...:)

Erin said...

I might be wrong Michelle, but I think he's talking about exploring what's next for the online relationships he's found.

Like some kind of community among us, or for us in our own lives? That, I'm not certain.

Yes, Jon...fill us in on what you're thinking.

Sue said...

So are you saying you feel like God is bringing us together as a bit more of an orchestra?

I certainly believe the net is playing a part in what God is doing. Do I believe it will play a greater part? I don't know because like you, I can barely see one foot in front of the other.

And I find myself in a strange place where I have been in the desert for so long that anything intentional feels a bit creepy to me. I KNOW that is taking it too far. I need God to set that to rights in me.

But yes, I want to hear more, Jon. If you have words to say them. Hard to speak indefinables and whispers and flutters, isn't it? :)

Delirious said...

wow..maybe I'm really off lol. I thought he was looking at how the group could pray, or work, or use their faith to help the world more. I guess there is this feeling that when you have faith, you want to act. I think in my own life, when I get to that point, I usually find myself trying to teach others what I know. That is how I reach out.

Am I totally out in left field? lol I'm one of the slowest among us.

Happy said...

lol... you're welcome, Jon! I'm glad my inability to take the shortest distance between two points was good for something... :D

i am with you in that i have definitely felt that this network of relationships forming is no coincidence. i particularly feel that there is NO coincidence about the variety of perspectives from which we all come and yet we are able so often to find common ground. unity in the essentials, i guess...

God is doing something here. I can't yet put my finger on what it is, or what my role in it is, but I know that for right now I'm to keep writing and reading... and waiting on the Lord. That light has got to turn green eventually, right?

I don't know why, but I didn't tell the whole story. The guy behind me that was honking finally whipped around me and tried to get through the intersection. the light turned green before he got thru - but then, because I was turning and he wasn't, he got stuck at another red light, and I got where I was going a little faster than he did. It felt like justice, and it made me grin. So I guess there really is something to be said for waiting... :)

i think i get what you're saying. AND i'm looking forward to hearing more.

getting there said...

Jon, you introduced me to RAhab's kitchen and I still don't remember how you found me but I am glad that you did. But one thing I do feel is there is a connection and maybe I am nuts in thinking this. but go ahead and reveal more ...

I am just glad that I have some online buddies to talk to :)

Erin said...

See REALLY what this point is about is us guessing what Jon means! LOL!

jON said...

thanks for your responses. it is interesting, and informative, for me to read them all. it was a difficult post for me to be willing to share and be transparent about. (the draft for this post has been sitting around since july 14th!) i don't know why, but it makes me feel a little overly vulnerable, if not a lot crazy! so thanks for being gentle, and, at the very least saying something instead of nothing.

if you dear friends actually want to hear more, and are willing to discuss this with me, i am going to need to gather my thoughts a little and pray. as well as ask for a little investment from you in being willing to read a few old posts that i list to gain background on my thoughts on this.

it is something that i think had been brewing for a long time and bleeding through every so often in the past couple of years, but with much more voration and frequency in the past few months.

if you would be so kind, i would love to get outsider viewpoints. hopefully to see things i am missing, if possible. the same as you have done with this post! thank you all so much!

it will take me a few days to pour over my archives, but i will tap each of you when it's done. cool?

jON said...

"Do you mean that you are wanting to openly share the things that God is actually speaking to you FOR others? Like specific words? Or are you talking about wanting MORE in terms of 'greater things than these,'?"
hopefully you can understand that i'm not quite sure 100% what i'm saying. which is why i appreciate the give and take to help clarify that for me. i would say it is a little more of the latter than the former. i don't know if i have anything specific to say to anyone. but i do feel like "greater things" are taking shape, and that this community is a part of it.

"...I think he's talking about exploring what's next for the online relationships he's found."
yes. i am saying that.

"Like some kind of community among us, or for us, in our own lives?"
both, actually.

"So are you saying you feel like God is bringing us together as a bit more of an orchestra?"
i am saying that it certainly appears that way to me. which is why i'm asking for other points of view. :-)

"I certainly believe the net is playing a part in what God is doing."
i do as well, sister. i do as well.

and i'm sorry if the intentional feels creepy to you. but that very word, intentional, is the one that has been on my heart for the past couple of weeks. not to mention that it was the word that came to my mother, completely unbeknownst to her, when i was discussing it with her last week.

"Hard to speak indefinables and whispers and flutters, isn't it?"
yes. hard to find appropriate words for the concepts that swirl around my inner being.

"I thought he was looking at how the group could pray, or work, or use their faith to help the world more."
yes, i was indeed saying this as well. it is also a part of it.

"God is doing something here. I can't yet put my finger on what it is, or what my role in it is, but I know that for right now I'm to keep writing and reading... and waiting on the Lord. That light has got to turn green eventually, right?"
i couldn't have said it any better myself...

i found you through a deconstructed christian. it was the first time i had seen you around and you offhandedly mentioned that you were young in your decondtruction. i felt moved to visit your page and in about 2 seconds i knew you needed to visit the Kitchen. so i simply threw out the invite. glad you decided to come...

"But one thing I do feel is there is a connection and maybe I am nuts in thinking this."
i have been wrestling with this very thought for years now. and i finally feel like it's time to start exploring it a little more.

thanks, everyone, for sharing in the journey.

Susan said...

One of the reasons I keep hanging around this part of the blog world is I sense God is doing something and I don't want to miss out!

Personally I think part of it is trying to work out how to make things like Rahab's Kitchen happen in real time, but I have no idea how that is going to happen.

Ruth said...

Yes something is going on here. .....can't quite put my finger on it. It has to do with the Kingdom of God. I have sensed that for some time.

Way back, in this post when I was just getting to know some of you, I left this comment:

I have been so drawn to this conversation for the past couple of weeks because it feels like the kingdom of God is here. I can't explain it. I have often had tears streaming down my cheeks as I write and read. All of you are on my heart! Am I crazy or what???? I do have a real life you know.

I still feel that sense of God's Kingdom among this group of people that is getting larger and larger. It has to do with God's spirit in the midst of his people. When there are more people, there is a bigger presence.

I 've been thinking about what Jesus said that we will do greater things. I wonder if he meant that when he was on earth he was only one person (he was indeed just a man in the flesh who gave up all deity when he was here and relied on God's power) However, when he returned to heaven, he became the head of a huge body on earth. That body is us. His bride. When we come together in unity and love, he gets really really big!

jON said...

you mean this post.

Ruth said...

ya - I messed up - good work sherlock.

Heather said...

Although you probably all know by now I just thought I'd make it official. Whatever it is, whatever is in store, I'm obviously in if it resonates with what I'm being spoken to about. Otherwise I could take the easy way out and delete those two posts of mine :-D You know, sometimes that seems like the easiest way to deal with things!

jON said...

sorry, did that sound bitchy? i wasn't going for bitchy.

i reread the post you tried to link to and enjoyed revisiting it. i thought others might like to as well. kari, you're there. erin, susan, and of course ruth. michelle and nate were there too.

i enjoyed revisiting that space and am glad you remembered it. :-)

lou said...

Hi Jon
I am sorry I am entering the discussion so late I have been flat out at work and unable to get to the computer :(
I agree that something supernatural is happening amoungst us. I have only been a part for such a short time but I feel like I have known you guys for ages and feel totally safe.
I too agree that I want something deeper than just talk.
Please include me in the discussion

jON said...

susan, i am glad that you decided to put "your god is too safe" on your blogger profile. that is how i found you if i do recall. such a seemingly small and insignificant thing which has life altering impact for both of us. i think i first established contact here.

and ruth. dear ruth who tumbled down the rabbit hole one day to find herself seated at the mad hatter's party... :-)

i guess, at the very least, what i have gotten from your responses is what i needed most. simple confirmation that you too feel the stirrings of the spirit in this place.

and heather. thank you for your words. if i recall correctly, the first conversation i can recall with you is at your place here. but i believe we met through here.

wow. that was fun. i'll have to do everyone here at some point in the near future.

it took about 2 hours just to connect those dots. for right now my head hurts and it's time to sleep... see you all in the morning.

good memories. :-)

Ruth said...

heck no Jon! It wasn't bitchy. I didn't mean to be bitchy either. I thought it was funny. Thanks for finding the real link.

jON said...

see? lou, sorry to have missed you. you posted while i was getting my last comment together. thanks for coming by.

it is so good to see you here! don't mind the blacklight posters and the loud music. you get used to it. :-) i will definitely keep you updated when there is new conversation to be had.

this one is easy. i met you when you came wandering in the Kitchen and joined us for a cup of coffee that has lasted about, oh, three weeks now.

Erin said...

I can't explain how I feel's so strange...for so long I haven't had any real strong spiritual feelings, but today I feel hope for what we have going on here and what it could mean. I mean, I think hope is probably understandable today, and maybe it is just the general mood among bloggers I know because of the election...but I feel hope for what we are creating here and at Rahab's kitchen and on all the blogs where we meet.

Weird. I just think the timing of this post, Jon, is ironic. Or did you plan it that way?

Ruth said...

The Mad Hatter Tea Party! LOL - That was fun reading back through that interesting conversation - me trying to figure all of you out.

I sure am glad I tumbled down that rabbit hole. I was trying to trace how I found this group and I think first point of contact was Pastor Phil who I found accidentally by pressing "next blog" or something. From there I followed Che from a comment she made and chatted with her a bit. I found Rachel on her side bar. Happy and Mike found me from Rachel. I found Heather from every ones side bar because she's so popular and that's how I tumbled down the rabbit hole into something else... and met all the rest of you.

Gosh I hope my links work this time.

Erin said...

Susan and I found each other somehow...and Nate and Jon already knew her. I was a little slow in embracing this kind of community, but here I am now and in it for the long haul. I can't even say how my life has changed...

Katherine Gunn said...

Hmm... I am interested in listening and seeing where it goes. Right now, I can't commit to more than that...

Susan said...

Goodness me, Jon, you have a good memory. I had forgotten. I had only been blogging 6 months when you suddenly showed up on my blog and now here we are nearly 3 years later. We've certainly had some interesting conversations in that time.

Happy said...

lol - wow, that was fun. :) i've always wondered how some of us met up - and now i know! i still find it relatively amazing that anyone reads what i write...

Heather - you COULD delete those posts, but we'll all remember that you wrote them. :)

jON said...

thanks, gang.

i am now beginning my stretch at work, so it will take me a little bit to, as jimi hendrix used to say, "get my heart back together."

i've been through my archives and have a long list of posts. i need to pray over them and see what sticks and what doesn't. then i'll return with them for your perusal before we begin.

as to the origins and meetings, that takes time to retrace the steps of meeting. but i'll do everyone else here this weekend if you'd like.

wihch also leads me into thinking about "gathering" people. wandering out into different sections of the blogosphere to find those who seem to have no community to call their own, and/or are young in their deconstruction and needing counseling and healing.

i think it is important to not become too insular as a group and to always be looking to offer up the community we have found here to others as well. for so many, as i have heard expressed here again and again, this is the kind of community they have been searching for their whole lives.

so i think people ought to know it's here. and i also think the only way they're going to know is if we "go out" and invite them.

Dena G said...

I'm still here, too...just quiet. I'm in one of those "be still" seasons, so that's what I'm mostly trying to do. :-)

Sue said...

This is an interesting conversation :)

As I was reading through these comments, it occurred to me that my paranoid feelings about "intentionality" are because that sort of thing in the past, has meant commitment at all costs. What it actually meant was, commitment that goes above and beyond what you sense God speaking to you. I mean, sheesh, if I look at some of the church places I went to, some of them probably should have shut their doors years before. The church of Ichabod. And so I guess that this is the paranoia I bring with me even into these online spaces. It's like in some subconscious level intentional Christian community equals puttin aside all of my boundaries. And that is EXACTLY what I am learning to NOT do these days.

But yeah, it's just interesting that it's like it's something that I know intellectually that I am dealing with, but I have to keep reminding myself that you guys are more like me than those guys were - ie, you guys want to listen for the heartbeat of God. You guys don't need to twist yourselves into deformed shapes to fit into the system because THERE ISN'T ONE!

And so forgive me for my negativities about intentionality. I just haven't had much experience of Christians who, even without realising it, try to force me into boxes God never put there.

Erin said...

Sue - Why, I think you'd fit nicely into a cute little shoebox. ;-)

I struggle with intentionality too. Very much. I rail against the system, ANY system...but I'm learning.

Manuela said...

I'm with you, Jon, and what's being defined more here... I think it's good to be intentional in maintaining communication and loving others, however God leads us to.
If God is leading us ( and not some oppressive system) and we know we can tell the difference, then why not follow on that point. We need to take a step of faith, even if it's just baby steps. Father will keep guiding one step at a time. Being too passive (giving in to fear) can be so destructive. We need each other and also to even be "redirected" lovingly by one another when appropriate (like when you mentioned about having a word for someone...) If love rules then fear will fade and all will blossom.
I've been burned a gazillion times, but all within the system, as Sue also explained.
But the Spirit still burns in me to not give up on the real thing happening.... I can't make it happen, but I need to do the part I'm called to, as the Spirt leads. ...every part needs to... It's scary to go there again because the system has so corrupted all this. Yet without "real" fellowship (and I now belive this has many forms and no one prescription) we don't heal or grow... I've layed down my own expectations of what this beautiful organism needs to look like... but I can't deny we are all part of one another...There is a definite connection here for me with you all at Rahab's and many others whose paths crossed mine

There is also some definite vagueness to this, because there are many parts to it and all vitally important... We don't totally know what it will look like, barely do. But we can take whatever steps we're called to and dream...
The only thing I'm certain of is that it's all about love, learning to love and living in Love.
The Word is the essential part of this, but not as it's been twisted by the world and institutionalized religion. There is a time to detox and a time to resume to living... this may repeat itself many times, but how much better we heal with real friends around!

Sorry this is so long... Hope it makes sense. Just my thoughts...I'm working it out too, it's not black and white

jON said...

"Weird. I just think the timing of this post, Jon, is ironic. Or did you plan it that way?"

sorry. i just remembered you asked me a question, erin. no. it was not planned that way. not by me anyhow. the election wasn't even on my mind when i posted it. i've been holding onto it since july 14th. as i said, after reading heather's posts and chatting with her briefly, something inside just said, "it's time." so i posted it.

Valorosa said...

Let's pray.
Unity ?


our government so we may continue to worship in peace.

do we dare ask the Lord for our loved ones to be whole and healed among us?

I have found no one who will join in fervent prayer with me for the healing of my son ... the pastors I have sought out say that he has to be off his meds before he can be effectively prayed for... I ask them... do people with high blood pressure need to be off their meds for you to effectively pray for them?

Well now I'm an offensive mouthy woman.
"How dare you intelligently question a fake like me? Don't you know who I am?"

Another one tells me that he will pray and another one says that he will come and visit and still another says to his brother "yes, we will pray for him but not tonight" and we hear nothing from any of them again.

It has been a long search to find that there is no one who 'really' believes in God the way He is illustrated to us in the Bible. We as a family have sat alone in this shunned world of ours ... alone from those who claim to be believers.

My son is very ill. He is home with me again but only because my sister has been able to move in with me to help me so I can continue to work. He is managed well and he is loved well. But his life has been robbed from him.
I cannot begin to tell the story of wall after wall we have hit in order to find some treatment that works for him. Nothing has worked and he is the same as he was from the beginning of all this. Only worse for wear because drug side effects are taking their toll on his young body.


I have been in blogland for awhile now. Out of loneliness and looking for those who have a deep desire to find that place where the Lord makes things right like He did for so many children of those who believed in Him as the stories tell us.

I have really come to the end of looking.

I believe in one thing only and that is love.

There is nothing else that will bring you through this hellish yet so beautiful place of existence.

I don't feel what you feel Jon. I'm sorry.

But I don't deny you the feeling or anyone else.

Love Bless you

Ruth said...

Valorosa, this is heartbreaking to hear your reality. Thanks you for sharing about your son.

Have you ever had a sense about whether his illness is spiritual or physical or both?

Sue said...

Valorosa, thanks for sharing about your son. I DEFINITELY will join with you in praying for the healing of your son. While I'm here, Papa - I really don't understand why we see your power. Why do you not heal the way you did in times past? I mean, obviously you are still the same God, the God of love, the God who weeps for his broken children. Can you show us, start to teach us, as a people, why it is we do not have the power to heal? It is something I have been asking you recently. I wonder, is it, as Jesus said, the deceitfulness of wealth which robs us of this? Please show us and talk to us and guide us because we want to ... and I hate going into religiospeak, but I really do have a greater desire, in the last few weeks, to be your hands and your feet whatever that may mean. So please, Papa, show us, and help us, and help Valorosa and her son, and strengthen them, and heal him, Papa please.

Erin said...

Val - I am so sorry, I can tell it weighs heavily on you, as it would for any mother. I don't understand about healing either. I was in a tradition where healing was prayed for all the time but never (rarely or only temporarily) seen and I came to the conclusion that either we aren't doing something right, or with the advent of modern medicine God just doesn't miraculously heal people very often in first-world countries. I don't think either of those answers are right, but I don't know where else to go with it.

I wholeheartedly agree with Sue in prayer. Amen.

Sue said...

Maybe it's not even that we're not doing something right - maybe we're not believing something right or thinking something right.

But those don't sit right with me, either. I just don't really get it. But still, I think about that verse where Jesus couldn't heal many people because of their unbelief, but I just don't KNOOOOOOWWWW!!! she wailed.

Heather said...

Ruth, we're all glad you made it to the tea party, and I'm glad I was part of it :-) But you made me spit my coffee when you said I found Heather from every ones side bar because she's so popular. LOL!!!

Valorosa, I'm so sorry about your experience. Prayer is one of those big mysteries that I don't think we're supposed to understand. I know God hears - there are times I have prayed and I know for sure he has listened and responded, but I don't know why he only sometimes acts, with healing or otherwise.

I wish I did know.

But all I can do is trust. That might not make logical sense, but there is nothing else that makes sense to me.

I'm sorry if that sounds contrived, but it's the best I can explain it.

jON said...

wendy, i'm so sorry. i'm glad you stopped by again, and i wish i had some sort of magical words or answer or healing but i don't. i have prayed for you and your son and will continue to do so. it's all i can do for you. especially after all you've done for me. sticking around here when everyone else left. in fact there was a period when you were the ONLY one who came around to visit me here. always challenging me to think more and think deeper. pulling me back from the brink of mental oblivion several times. (whether you knew it or not)

i am very grateful for you, and i love you deeply. my heart aches and my heart breaks to hear your pain and frustration.

i do know that the prayer here in this place does accomplish things sometimes. like the time you shared your frustrations about your son's tyrannical doctor over at Rahab's. You asked us to pray, and i can't speak for anyone else, but that night as i was praying i was given a vision of a pure white light bathing the area of land in which you live. the next day was when you gave the report that the doctor had finally consented to release her grip.

so like i said. i have been praying and i will continue to pray for you and your son.

Sue said...

It's funny, but these days I am so much more satisfied and happy with explanations where someone, in the middle of them, apologises because they can't explain it :)

Funny, huh? I feel so much more secure in the mystery of God, that massive wide mystery, than I ever did when living in reductionist christian circles :)

Erin said...

Can I just follow Sue around all day and say "Ditto what Sue said"?

I am always encouraged when someone doesn't have the answer...and doesn't pretend to be God and know what He knows and why he does or doesn't do something. Just having people who love is the ticket.

Valorosa said...

"I feel so much more secure in the mystery of God,"

Very cool Sue.

I have been thinking lately that there must be some kind of magic eye picture that we can stare into and eventually see a clear picture emerge ... so we can do what we see our Father do. That was the simplicity that Christ walked in.

Thank you all again for your gifts of love and your prayers again for us. You have melted my heart.

Ruth it is an interesting question that you ask. Spiritual or physical? I think it is mostly physical.

Thanks for the encouragement Heather and thanks for your honesty, Erin.

Thanks for reminding me of victories past Jon and thank you for you love.


jON said...

you're welocme.

you know wendy, even the use of this scene from "the goonies" is inspired from your participation here.

do you remember the dream you had about us and our little band of bloggers back in '06? being at the amusement park, and finding our way underground, and having a gay old time until we came to a hole in the ceiling that lead back the surface and my niece was up at the top offering us the "death" card from a tarot deck to come back to the surface?

COMPLETELY in the back of my mind when i picked this scene.

"it's our time down here."

good memories again. :-)

and just to relive a ocuple of classic moments for fun. i do believe wendy that we met here at life in general. and you first came over to visit here.

it looks like it will actually be 3 years exactly in one week. my how the time flies...

getting there said...

wow, I stepped in late here. Valorosa, I see what you are saying about love being everything. I don't know the answers and I am sorry about your son. I am stumped for words so my comment ends here but I do send you love, sincerely even though I do not know you :)

Happy said...

Hey, V - I will definitely be praying for your son, and I've asked a couple of my friends to, as well...

I know I've read bits and pieces of your story here and there between A2A and Rahab's, but could you tell me the whole story - what his diagnosis is, specific things he could use prayer for, etc.? I'd love to pray as specifically as I can.

love and hugs,

Ruth said...

Hey - Val, I'm with Happy about praying for your son. I've been asking the Lord how to pray.

Valorosa said...

Yes, jON I remember ... and shortly after that dream your life was thrown into turmoil.
The one holding the card was a messenger sent to warn you about the death and separation you were about to endure.
Among the underground adventurers were those who would help buffer the attack.

I also dreamed that your little girl was being carried in YOUR belly instead of Erin's. I have yet to understand the fullness of that one.
Is she like you in personality or does she look like you or what is the connection there.

Thank you all for your prayers and love again.

My son has been diagnosed with schizophrenia but I don't think they are completely accurate. This was when he was 16 .. he is now 27 and has declined over the years ... he was actually better cognitively without the drugs but his emotions have been kept in better control on the drugs.

The drugs don't help him to live normally.
Many schizophrenics live normal lives with the right drugs for them.
This is not happening for him at all.

We need wisdom... something to unfold, a revelation for healing.

I would like to see him off these drugs that do harm to his body and help so little. But they do help a very little bit ... I think. :-/

Happy said...

Wow, V... i don't even know what to say because i can't even imagine how difficult this situation is - but i will definitely be praying for that revelation, and its actualization. For some reason I thought your son was much younger - but wow - he's just a few years younger than I am...

sending hugs, virtual chocolate (the best kind because of its virtual calories, lol), and a lot of love your way. peace rest with you, and with your son, and with your sister, and guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus - and may every shred of wisdom and revelation that you need be given to you, in the name of Jesus, I pray this - amen.