Tuesday, February 27, 2007

darling would you be my, would you be my...

just read this a few minutes ago and it made me laugh. thought i would share it. this comes from haggai 2:17 (cough, cough. throat clear. ahem.)
"I smote you and every work of your hands with blasting wind, mildew, and hail; yet you did not come back to me," delares the Lord.

what made this humorous for me was that for some reason it struck me as a lover speaking to one whom they are seeking. and i thought, you know, that's not really the best way to get someone to fall in love with you. "hey, i tore up all your shit, destroyed your house, have been stealing your food so you are starving. why don't you come around more often? don't you want to spend time with me?"

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

um, a little help here

NUM 22:20-22 "God came to Balaam at night and said to him, 'If the men have come to call you, rise up and go with them; but only the word which I speak to you shall you do.' So Balaam arose in the morning, and saddled his donkey and went with the leaders of Moab. But God was angry because he was going, and the angel of the LORD took his stand in the way as an adversary against him."

i ran across this about a week ago in my readings and it has stuck with me ever since. hoping to add some perspective. why would god do this? why would he give a command and then get upset that his command was followed? of course there is a wider story to be found here for context. the story (as pertains here) actually starts at the beginning of chapter 22. and, well, i'd like to hear what you think, i guess. if you think anything about this at all. thanks.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Sunday, February 04, 2007

open letter to my mother

for some reason, i find it so much easier to speak freely here. it's sort of become my dumping ground for thoughts and ideas. a place to get them out in the open and look at them and see what they look like in the light instead of just rumbling around inside and taking shape alone in the darkness. anyway...

i heard you say that ben's such a special guy. that you're really proud of the person he's become. but that you just wished that he knew god. and i wanted to say something, but i didn't. i held back. for the obvious reason that such comments as these have garnered heated debate, as of late, instead of heartfelt discussion. i should trust you more, and i didn't, and i'm sorry.

i think ben already knows god. he just doesn't know it. and that's not necessarily a bad thing right now. if you know the definition of "holy" then you know that it means "set apart" rather than the modern doctrinal concept of purity. you know ben, being the person he is, and the choices he has made from his heart. the choices that have lead him to be the person he is today among the people he finds himself among. i would wager that there is not a single person in his common daily life who doesn't acknowledge that he is truly set apart. set apart from the rest of humanity. different. odd. an alien. a stranger. yet the every guy. the guy you love and get love from. the guy who'll take you where you're at and love you no matter what. and that, in my own personal understandings of what the scriptures are trying to lead us to as an everyday lifestyle, is the way the people of god are supposed to be. at heart. and then asking on that day, "when? when did i love you? when did i go out of my way to help you, lord? i didn't know it was you?"

and we already know what his response is going to be...

and whether someday in this life, or not until the veil is removed and he sees it then, he will know who it is in his heart that he's been following this whole time and he will be glad.

and so will you.

and then the two of you can share a dance of joy together on the dance floor at the big party that's being planned for all of us to kick it off. i'll see you guys there. and it will be good to see you... but this time we won't ever have to say goodbye again.

Thursday, February 01, 2007