Tuesday, September 19, 2006

alamand left with your partner. bow to your corner. all join hands. now promenade.

what in the world can i even say? i don't know where to start. so much has happened and it has been so very strange and wonderful and painful. seeking. learning. testing. failing. winning. crying. laughing. loving. caring. sharing. being ripped wide open. scooping out the poison. yeah. that's pretty much been the theme of the summer. having the cancer cut out and experiencing the resultant growth and freedom and new life that comes with it. learning more and more how to reach out. lately, for the past few months, god has been developing the gift that i have been given. the ability to look a person in the eye and look them straight in the heart. straight into the core of their being and draw it forward. because i've found that, like i was, most people are hiding inside. scared. afraid of coming out of their shells for fear of past pain and misuse and abuse of their hearts when vulnerability and openness were tried. but unless we come forward, our pain stays hidden and rots us from within. if we don't know or don't admit it's there, we rot away slowly and sometimes violently. and it tries to alert us and get our attention as we "act out" or "act in" in various ways. but until we are honest about who we are and what we feel, we can never throw those things up on the altar to burn away.

this. this has been the story that has culminated in the past couple of months. but it starts a couple of years ago. well, actually, the story starts way before my birth and all of the people and choices that lead up to my parents coming together and being the people they were and having me and all the things i have gone through that have lead me up to being the person i am today. but we don't have that kind of time right now. so when we begin, we'll go back a couple of years and see the rumblings at their beginnings. and the awesomeness of a god who had it all in hand years before it came about. and how she did it.

so now that we have an intro, we'll have a story. in a bit. blessings to you all.

3 comments:

Wendy said...

Always loved square dancin'

Swing yer partner round and round ...

LOL

Tessa said...

hey i suspected you might be making more posts...



and lo and behold!

vin-vin said...

allemande right, now all join hands -- do si do to the promised boogieland!