Tuesday, July 11, 2006


for some reason i've been reconnecting with my metal roots as of late. one thing i've come to learn about myself is that i'm a metalhead. always have been, always will be. does this mean i'm a fan of every form of metal i hear? no. but i respect them all. damn talented musicians, mostly. and deep. some of the most unflinching and thoughtful lyrics you will ever hear come from the mouths of the metalmen. it was nine inch nails' latest album with teeth that helped to rekindle the fire this past spring. then, as the snow began melting and i could drive around and deliver with my windows rolled down, i was struck with the irresistable call to hear something loud and intense. listening to the radio has brought me tool. and we all know pearl jam put out their new album. not to mention seeing pearl jam open for tom petty and the heartbreakers. it's been a great summer so far.

something about metal just resonates so deep inside me. not just metal, though. but a spirit that has been embodied by rock and roll all along. this subversive thing that just refuses to be killed. everytime the system grabs ahold of it and thinks it has killed it, it comes back in a different form. shocking us. apalling us. calling us to new realities and lives. reminding us of the wonderful gift of life we have been given and the potential that lies in living it to the fullest. whether good or bad. experiencing what life has to offer. and reasearching the roots of metal in black sabbath's first album and going forward has me interested in hearing and experiencing a lot of new music, which is actually old music.

really been getting into ac/dc lately. (were you there firsthand, susan? was ac/dc-mania everything in austrailia in the 70's that i have been lead to believe?) now i'm VERY interested in hearing black sabbath's first album. i mean, i've heard the greatest hits, but not the first album as a whole. and this book i'm reading has judas priest sounding as if i would enjoy hearing their formative years. never really given judas priest much thought before. huh.

a little burned out on this whole scriptural thing, i've started looking into other things. it started on wikipedia. i'm don't quite remember how i ended up there. but i found myself researching anton lavey. this lead me to aleister crowley. which in turn lead me to thelema. and i found myself coming across a quote that seemed to me to embody something that resonates deep within me. like metal. this thing that has been lurking under the surface trying desperately to get my attention.

"All their life was spent not in laws, statutes, or rules, but according to their own free will and pleasure. They rose out of their beds when they thought good; they did eat, drink, labour, sleep, when they had a mind to it and were disposed for it. None did awake them, none did offer to constrain them to eat, drink, nor to do any other thing; for so had Gargantua established it. In all their rule and strictest tie of their order there was but this one clause to be observed,
Do What Thou Wilt;
because men that are free, well-born, well-bred, and conversant in honest companies, have naturally an instinct and spur that prompteth them unto virtuous actions, and withdraws them from vice, which is called honour. Those same men, when by base subjection and constraint they are brought under and kept down, turn aside from that noble disposition by which they formerly were inclined to virtue, to shake off and break that bond of servitude wherein they are so tyrannously enslaved; for it is agreeable with the nature of man to long after things forbidden and to desire what is denied us."

and so we get marilyn manson.

rom 7:9-10

more than enough for now, i'm sure.

but there's more...


much love.